Paranoid Subs Survival Schedule

Monday:

6:00 AM: Wake up, panic.
7:00 AM: Check for alien invasions, robot uprisings, or other catastrophic events.
8:00 AM: Eat 3 bowls of oatmeal to prepare for impending doom.

Wednesday:

10:00 AM: Call your mom and pretend to be in a witness protection program.
12:00 PM: Eat a lunch of only canned goods, for maximum survivalist efficiency.
3:00 PM: Practice your "I'm okay, I'm fine" face for when you encounter the apocalypse.